Cookie Cutter Pastors and Wives: A Reflection for Pastor Appreciation
by Saundra Bachler Huff
Knowing that October is Pastor Appreciation Month, I have been thinking about pastors, not only because I am a pastor's wife, but from the view point of someone remembering the pastors in her past. I have come to this conclusion: I'm so glad that we don't expect all of our pastors and wives to be exactly alike. I'm glad God had the foresight to know that as churches grow and change that the needs from their pastors grow and change and God is big enough, with enough foresight to have prepared ministers to cover His Church's needs.
Phil. 2:2 - Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other,
loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose.
I Cor. 12:4 - There are different kinds of spiritual gifts, but the same Spirit is the source of them all. There are different kinds of service, but we serve the same Lord. God works in different ways, but it is the same God who does the work in all of us. A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice, to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge. The same Spirit gives great faith to another and to someone else the one Spirit gives the faith of healing. He gives one person the power to perform miracles and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern when a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. It is one and only one Spirit who distributes all these gifts. He alone decides which gift each person should have.
Fred and I have recently spent several days with many pastors and their wives during a convention. In searching the audience, I looked at all the diversities of personalities and talents present in the audience and was so blessed at the number of different areas that God touched by the callings on their lives.
Each one had not only talents that they developed for God's work, but also they had varied life experiences that gave them insight and God has been able to use them as the scripture in II Cor. 2:4 says: He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others.
My life experiences have enabled me to offer not just sympathy but empathy for those who have to deal with Alzheimers and divorce. Fred's ministry offer's some of the same areas, but his life in the secular business world has given him other areas of expertise. It's amazing how God brings people across our paths, sometimes in the church, sometimes in the community, that we can relate to and if we don't know how to help them, we have knowledge of where to get help for them.
In years past I know there has been some grumbling about ministers and their wives when they did not seem to perform according to the unwritten definition of pastor or pastor's wife. At least in my lifetime, I think that most Christians have come to recognize that when we impose our personal preference of how a pastor or his wife is "supposed" to perform, we limit their ministry and fail to recognize God's calling on their lives. They may have areas of ministry that we have never thought of nor would attempt. Because we are focusing on what they don't do rather or what they do differently we miss out on the ministry they should be doing. Sometimes I think these pastors have been judged by the priority list compiled by church members instead of allowing and trusting God to make the priority list.
I have looked at the diversity of ministry from former pastors in the church we are now pastoring. Wow. When you know the history of the church you realize that God has placed each pastor here at a specific time because their ministry was pertinent for this church at that time. Had God called a "cookie cutter" pastor, their may have been some ministry needs that would not have been met had the new pastor only mimicked the previous one.
If God had only needed one kind of pastor, and one kind of pastor's wife, then he could have just cloned us and not bothered to make us each individual with individual ministries to use in the body of Christ.
Isn't it also amazing that often, God doesn't use "cookie cutter" ministries because the church already has those areas of ministry covered by the members themselves and to install a "copy cat" ministry, just like the previous one, would only duplicate talents already being used. That duplication could only cause comparisons, jealousy, dissention and confusion.
II Cor. 10:12 For we dare not make ourselves of the number or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves are not wise.
Fred and I have attended several other denominations because of not living in a town offering a trinity believing Apostolic Faith or FGEA church. We have experienced several pastoral changes in these churches. We have also attended churches where there should have been pastoral changes, but the pastor kept hanging onto the church because of his obsession with control and his ego. To me, the most successful churches were churches that had pastors strong enough to build a church that would continue whether he was there or not. Those churches are built on Christ rather than the pastor. It should be an embarrassment to a pastor who promotes himself so much that the people have "pastor-itis" instead of focusing on Christ he preaches.
For many years I have been concerned about the lack of pastoring to each other as ministers. Is it jealousy? Anger? Un-forgiveness? Ego that brings judgment? Un-acceptance? What keeps a barrier between us?
Also, that we as a small group have we have focused too many times on our differences rather that what binds us together. I have sat through ordination services where minister's and their wives were already judging a person's ministry before it began or had a chance to develop...saying they would or would not "make it" or basically betting how long it would be before they gave up. None of these ministers offered to take these newly called into their home or spend any amount of time with them to share their experiences or to try to help them not fail. In fact, one minister of this faith expressed to a newly ordained minister to his face, that he did not have what it took to be a pastor. What keeps some from reaching to each other? From sharing? Loving? Accepting? What keeps some churches from "pastoring" or showing care for it's pastor?
Is it because we don't value each other as ministers much less Christians? Has the church quit valuing their pastors and instead do they choose to find petty faults and differences? Have we forgotten that we each have a separate and special place in the body of Christ and instead of fulfilling on our own purpose, we focus on someone instead?
I Cor 12: 18-22 But our bodies have many parts, and God has put each part just where he wants it. How strange a body would be if it only had one part. Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. In fact, some parts of the body that seem weakest and least important are actually the most necessary.
Christ designed us to function without effort, just as muscles, bones, joints, nerves, blood and skin all work together. Each has it's own duty, but each is fearfully (differently) and wonderfully made. To paraphrase part of one of my husband's sermons, the eyes should not say to the hand..."I don't like the way you've fixed our hair, so I'm not going to watch our path as we walk to the store...I'll do my own thing my own way and watch the birds in the sky...so there". That attitude effects every part of the body. The hand has nothing to do with walking, but the legs will be punished because of the eyes being mad at the hand.
When children are playing you can often hear one of the say "you not my friend no more"...usually in response to one not following the wishes of the other. Then they find someone to "tattle to"! Why do Christians do this as well. Why can we not recognize that these attitudes are attitudes of the flesh and not of the Spirit that binds us together.
Have you noticed how Christians don't want to go to the source of an irritation, but they will discuss it with everyone who will listen...and why do we listen? I used to tell my kids they had to say 3 things nice for saying one thing bad about the other one. Maybe this should have been part of the sermon on the mount...oh wait...is it found in Matt. 7:1 Do not judge other and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others.
Gal. 5:14 For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: "love your neighbor as yourself." But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out. Beware of destroying one another.
I John 3:10 So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the devil. Anyone who does not live righteously and does not love other believers does not belong to God.
James 5:9 Don't grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. For look - the judge is standing at the door.
Lord, help us not to do that to each other.
Lord, help me appreciate the talents, value your calling and learn from those who do things differently than myself.
Phil. 4: 8 - And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Recently, while studying a lesson on crowns I found this passage:
The crown of glory is given to those who willingly shepherd God’s people, not because they are paid for it or because they are “lords” over a group of people, but because they are eager to serve and help people maximize their spiritual potential. Christians can be quite ungrateful and dissatisfied. Almost every leader has at one time or another been at his wit’s end as to how to keep people godly and blessed. More than one pastor, elder, or overseer has resigned, not because he or she did not love God, but because it just seemed too difficult to work with people in the Church. There are even Old Testament records of God Himself being disgusted with His people’s attitudes and behaviors. At points He was on the verge of abandoning them altogether. God recognizes that it is hard and often thankless work to shepherd people, so He offers a crown to those who will carry out the task in a godly manner.
What does this have to do with pastor appreciation? The pastors, the good ones...will not allow this to dictate or change their ministry. They continue in their walk with God even if their heart is breaking. They preach the Word because they love the Word and their calling is to encourage their people to love and live the Word. They earnestly pray for those who have slandered their ministry. They continue to visit those who have no intention of allowing their pastor to be a part of their lives or will not attend church regularly. They don't do this not for what they may gain or because it's their job...they do it because of the Love of God in their hearts.
I Peter 3: 8- 12 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with
each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted and
keep a humble attitude. ...If you want to enjoy life and see many happy
days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies..
.Search for peace and work to maintain it. The eyes of the Lord watch over
those who do right and his ears are open to their prayers...
My husband was asked, "as a pastor, what would you like to hear from your church about Pastor Appreciation?" He responded that "he would like to hear how the members of his church were focused on Christ and His love, why? because, the love of Christ was a pastor's heart. "
Pastor Huff, I appreciate you and your love for God and how you try to show God's love through your ministry.
Love from your pastor's wife...Saundra
No comments:
Post a Comment